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Optimus Prime is "that motherfucker"!

One of the funniest Transformers movie reviews I've come across.

I think I need to watch more of this chick.

You need to listen to the whole thing since it is really funny.

Well. Maybe not.

To each his or her own.

I was catching up blogcrack tonight and over at "A funny thing happened on the way down the road..." he has a post up about his Top 10 Headscratchers in Transformers.

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 7 were all things that had popped into my head during that late night Thursday back in Rhode Island but ya know... I never ever realize that Bumblebee voice thing.

I mean, sure I've knocked the fact that he has all of like 2 lines of actual dialogue but it never occurred to me that he actually was able to speak the moment he touched the Allspark.

Well it is still an awful film but last night it was at least a bit funnier.

Yup.

Kelmeister suggested I download the recent Rifftrax mp3 for Transformers. She and the husband came over and we synched up the movie and the mp3 and sure enough, it made the film a bit tolerable.

Now many of you may not have heard of Rifftrax yet.

They are mp3 commentary audio files for current films done by Mike Nelson and the others from Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame.

I know a lot of you disagree but I have yet to see how I can agree with anyone that this is either a 1) cool film or that it is 2) even a C-grade film.

Transformers is truly a sorry excuse for a film that has made that kind of money. It is a jumbled mess of often demeaning stereotypical Bay chaos.

Watching the new film with this commentary rekindled some of the same feelings I had while watching this at the Star Wars Holiday special and the prequel films.

In fact, one of my favorite moments in the TF track was actually during one of the utterly drawn out pointless scenes without any robots in it and Mike Nelson says something to the effect of "Oh my god I can't believe I'm saying this but I would so go for a pod race now!".

Well... and also the brilliant comment about Archibald Witwicky and Moe Greene!

Get your Rifftrax today!

Of course, the damn TF movie DVD I bought is skipping left and right in the upstairs DVD player.

Sure it plays all kinds or copied pron DVDs, Doctor Who, and everything else fine.

Most definitely an omen that I really shouldn't have bought the movie.

I was trying to find that metallic Megatron but the Best Buy at Polaris Fashion Mall (awful name) never got him or the Ratchet.

However, I was in the mood for some kind of fix to quench my relatively crack-free past few months and ended up buying the DVD release that came with the Robot Heroes repaints.

I mean... let's face it, first and foremost I'm always a TF toy loser.

The fiction, be it movie, cartoon, or comic will always come 2nd place.

And I figured I'd end up wanting the 2 toys anyway since they are so small and the New and Improved Plastic Crack Collection will pretty much have to be a small thing indeed.

I may watch the movie again tomorrow.

Well... maybe certain scenes.

There are quite a few scenes that were just awful to watch.

Maybe slow down some of the insanely too fast battles.

A Spychanger repaint in movie Prime colors???

I'm there!

And he's small and won't take up space.

So yeah. There's all kinds of easter eggs in the new DVD if you get the Family Dollar Exclusive version.

If you click on Shia LaBeouf's package from the easter egg menu for the Michael Bay interview on the 7th inner menu under Special Features you'll find a deleted scene that they so should have left in the movie.

Instead of Bumblebee pissing all over John Turturro's Agent Simmons, he turns around and takes a huge roboshit all over him!!!

I laughed and laughed and rewatched it like 15 times!

Robots shitting!

So funny.

So very very funny.

This is a sharp little Prime in vehicle mode.

It is probably the best of the Titanium movie 3-pack.

3" Titanium Movie Optimus Prime (vehicle) is the 1972nd Transformer that I've acquired.

Quite frankly I like this Protoform Optimus a hell of a lot better then the earth-mode one.

His detail is sharp and while he really doesn't look like an OP I think he works better in this form.

3" Titanium Movie Protoform Optimus Prime is the 1971st Transformer that I've acquired.

3" Titanium Movie Optimus Primeis the 1970th Transformer that I've acquired.

He doesn't appear in the movie but is a drone from the video game.

I love his car mode a lot.

Transformers Movie Swindle is the 1968th Transformer that I've acquired.

However...

I kind of regret buying him at full price.

I've deviated from my policy of buying the larger-sized movie figures at full retail and I feel dirty.

I'm really looking forward to the G1 homage repaint. It'll be so much nicer.

Transformers Movie Ratchet is the 1967th Transformer that I've acquired.

There's a filler article in today's USA Today about the Transformers film and the lack of characterization of the actual Transformers themselves.

"I would totally love to see more robot interaction. Most of those characters don't get any development time at all," says Yzquierdo, who has seen the film six times. "With a sequel, they have the opportunity to develop more with the Transformer characters and push that as far as it can go."

Producers say they understand.

"The honest answer is if we're lucky enough to make another one, we would push to get more underneath the skin of these guys," says di Bonaventura, though he believes the humans were important to draw in those not familiar with the robot mythology.

One guy ready for more action is Optimus Prime himself, voiced by Peter Cullen. "(Producer) Don Murphy mentioned to me, 'Only because of the tremendous expense to animate Optimus Prime, he'll be in just a certain amount of things.' But he said, 'Next time, if the movie is a success, you're gonna be in it a ton.' "

Producer Tom DeSanto says some special-effects techniques developed for the film can be used in a sequel.

"It's not like we need to go out and have that expense again of 'How does Optimus Prime transform?' with 10,000 moving parts," he says. "So in the future that expense doesn't have to be prohibitive."

Di Bonaventura cautions, however: "We always think that, and then find out it's not true. These things are always going to be very expensive, and we'll always want them to do more."

Just f'n come about and state the truth man!

It is far cheaper to shoot live action than it is to create the effects shots.

I totally understand that.

Most fans probably understand that too.

The whole thing about humans and such just insults the fans that have kept this goddamn brand alive for 2 decades.

Ok. I gotta go rant on my other blogs now.

Yes. I'm bored at the moment.

You know the worst thing about having Bay, Orci, and Kurtzman do a Transformers film with no real story and with the TFs basically co-starring in it?

Having to read fanboys on message boards creating missing story details or motivations where none actually exist in the story!

There is no relationship between Megatron and Starscream! They share less than 25 odd words between themselves and less than 15 seconds on actual time onscreen together!!!

I've actually read somebody explaining all kinds of shit about Barricade!

This is the bad craziness that happens in fanboys when you don't show the shit on screen!

We start making total shit up out of thin air!!!

Well I wondered if it would happen and Transformers finally got enough negative reviews in to drop below 60% to make it "rotten" over at RottenTomatoes.com.

What's amazing is that most reviews I've gone through seem to be pretty black and white.

What is blowing my mind away is the 96% ranking for Ratatouille which I still need to see.

I've yet to see a Pixar film that I couldn't watch multiple times.

I've recently watched Cars again several times and I constantly see things that I missed previously. They just know how to craft every element of a film.

Evan Almighty has a 23%. It must be pretty bad.

With the movie coming out in a lot of places tomorrow I figured it wouldn't hurt to finally talk about it.

*likely spoilers ahead*

Is it me or did some of the designers at Hasbro sit down and say to themselves "Let's put the love in the non-movie movie toys!"?

I mean... Dropkick... you are damn purty!

Sure you look a bit like you belong on the Army of the Southern Cross a bit but you've got to be one of the finest new toys TF toys I've seen.

A head retool and some "stress" painting could make you a decent Kup figure too.

Of course this is no doubt old news to TF geeks but I figured I'd post it.

This is a fan music video by Black Lab with an attempt to redo the 80s theme and it is actually not bad.

I mean, there's not a whole helluva lot you can do with that cheesy theme anyway and it is a thousand times better than the official redone theme.

I like this for the fact that it incorporates practically every bit of footage that has previously been released in trailers.

There's a bit of Scorponok scurrying across that sand that I really like.

There's a bit of Starscream doing a 'bird of prey' capture to somebody that I think looks really good too.

Saw this over that The Movie Blog where I'm a daily lurker.

I think this is the first non-trailer clip where we actually get to see some general moment-to-moment animation of how the bots move.

I'm loving Bumblebee in the background trying to apparently tell Optimus to not speak. Maybe?

A few seconds of Jazz too.

The only thing is... and it is really apparent in Bumblebee... you can totally see the motion capture process in use here.

Well, if the post on TFW2005 is true we finally have some voices to go with characters.

And on the whole, it isn't bad.

In fact, several of the names are actually voice actors and not celebrity voices which for me is one of the most important things that should have been considered. (Real voice actors typically get f'd over in these kinds of things!)

So obviously there's Cullen who is a voice actor and Hugo Weaver, while more of an onscreen guy, has done his share of voice acting in such films as Babe

Jess Harnell was a total shock. He portrayed the awesomely magnificent Wacko Warner in Animaniacs all those years ago and is pretty much strictly a voice actor.

Charlie Adler is a big time voice actor.

Keith David has done quite a bit of voice work.

Robert Foxworth has done some voices in recent years but is primarily a stage/screen actor.

Mark Ryan is pretty much not a voice actor.

All in all, not bad.

Not bad at all.

I'd have liked to see Welker and Corey Burton in there somewhere since they are 2 of my all-time favorites but what can ya do.

And Burton gets to be Megatron in the future animated TF show.

This will be the only time I ever mention this thing here. It is otherwise best left forgotten.

Barricade comes with this tiny Frenzy "thing" that folds up into the front of his car.

I debated about counting this in the collection since I typically value my PVCs and the like but I've decided against it.

I'd have to count that Scorponok PVC thingie that came with Blackout too and that would be pushing it.

The only reason I got him was because I went with the TRU 2-Pack for $25.

He never was going to interest me.

Transformers Movie Scorponok is the 1899th Transformer that I've acquired.

He was actually the only figure I really wanted but on acquiring him there's something missing from my expected love.

He's ok. Don't get me wrong. He's actually very nice.

But... I don't know.

I think I like some of the bots in the prototype generic resin grey color.

Some details seem to get lost when it gets painted.

Transformers Movie Blackout is the 1898th Transformer that I've acquired.

I'm just going to come out and say it...

I hate this figure.

Transformers Movie Starscream is the 1883rd Transformer that I've acquired.

Awesome alt mode!!!

Transformers Movie Ironhide is the 1882nd Transformer that I've acquired.