Recently in comics Category

What the phrock!?!?!

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Ok. Paper crack moment here.

Speaking of the delays, Legion of 3 Worlds #3 is now scheduled for Jan. 14, 2009 and issue #4 is scheduled for Feb. 25, 2009. Issue #5 has not been solicited yet...

I've spent a good chunk of my life in the publishing industry.

Why the fuck can't a companies like DC and Marvel remotely keep shit on a monthly schedule?

They have so many months lead-in and yet these companies, as publishers, are totally incompetent.

How is that in the pre-digital hey-dey of paper crack, writers and artists managed to produce a ton of shit on a monthly schedule and yet now, in this digital world of fast transmission and everything else Adobe has touched can't a goddamn comic book company put books out on schedule!??!?!

It can only mean that they are totally incompetent or that they just don't care.

If any of our publications failed to meet deadline heads would roll.

Obviously, these companies must view us, their stupidly retarded customers, as utter shit!

I'm in heaven... oh such heaven...

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Speaking of comics (because there still is nothing remotely Transformersish for me to talk about)...

Remember when I had an "opps I crapped my pants" moment back in May?

Well... Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds #1 came out Wednesday!

Damn! I've got some semblance of my Legion back and I get it all drawn by my favoritest super-hero artist ever George Perez.

My love-hate relationship with paper crack is just about as crazy as the love-hate relationship with plastic crack!

Alas, I sold off 95% of the comics and obviously PaperCrack.com can never truly become what I wanted it to be.

Then again... when would I have time.

Krypto... rocks.

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krypto.jpg

My general ongoing malaise when it comes to funny books can be easily overcome with a dose of Krypto.

There is nothing more f'n awesome than a white dog of questionable breed with a red cape that has super strength, super hearing, and can fly.

No.

There's no denying it.

There's nothing better.

So I, Nala, was catch'n up on my paper crack blogs this morning and came across the reason why you should love the Time Trapper as much as I do.

Time Trapper

The Time Trapper kicked Invisible Kid (turned into a toddler) in the ass!!!

And Toddler Reep's awful dialogue reminded me why I so hate Silver Age DC stories where super-heroes are turned into children or are portrayed as childen a la Superbaby: the awful dialogue used to imply they are children.

Have you ever really met a little kid that horridly misused the world "Me" as portrayed back then?

Ugh!!!

Should I ever quit my "career" and return to my graduate studies in physical anthropology, you can rest assured I will try to include references of DC Comics' physical manifestation of entropy kicking children in the ass in everything I do!

You've read it here first!


Now that's what I'm talking about!!!

Nala + the real Time Trapper + some semblance of the original LSH = crapping pants.

It has been a long time since a final word balloon in a frigg'n piece of paper crack made me feel like a kid again.

"...I deserve better than I've been given."

No shit!

G'bye Mr. Stevens.

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Dave Steven's The Rocketeer

Most of you probably don't know who he is, but Dave Stevens recently passed away from leukemia.

His character The Rocketeer was one of the first characters a 12-year old Nala was introduced to outside the often limiting confines of DC and Marvel comics.

He was an incredibly fine illustrator and painter.

Phantom Lady and Silver Age Catwoman

His full page illustrations of Phantom Lady and the Golden Age Catwoman from DC's 80s series Who's Who are still two of my favorite superhero illustrations of all-time.

I mean... Sandra Knight kicking Nazi ass drawn by Dave Stevens? S'like a slice of heaven there kids.

I can haz robotz?

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...

The Bible + Robots = Awesome!

Brainiac versus Big Daddy. Who would win?

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So Corey Burton reprising his Brainiac chracter on a recent Legion of Super-Heroes was kind of laughable.

He had like 3 lines.

3 lines!!!

He's A-list voice acting talent so I'd love to know how much one gets paid for 3 lines?

I mean, the C-listers who they had to have do Transformers this past summer barely had 10 lines among them all. It really never mattered who did any of the voices other than Optimus and even then I didn't really give a shit. (I'd love some more Neil Kaplan in Transformers.)

I burst out laughing the other day when I read this post at Tformers about Darius McCary reprising Jazz or some such thing.

He add oh so much to that awesomely written film character. I think he said something about "nice planet bitches" and then something right before he died.

Yes. Very important to have just the right actor for that!

What's even funnier about that post is the succeeding comments that ensue about it.

I can't even imagine what actual forum boards are like.

Anyway, I was talking about Brainiac here wasn't it?

So I've been a fan of Brainiac since the 1983 revamp as the metallic robot skeleton with the huge skull ship.

2007-12-06-brainiac-skel.jpg

The Silver Age planet shrinking pink and white wearing human-looking bot's time had come.It was one of the best revamps ever, turning him from the green-skinned Coluan creation into an emotionless robot that viewed himself almost in religious terms with Superman as his prophecized destroyer.

Plus... let's face it... his skeletal revamp appearance by the great Gil Kane kicked major ass!

2007-12-06-brainiac-90s.jpgUnfortunately, it only lasted a few years.

The Superman reboot of 1986 wiped the awesome Brainiac from continuity and gave up a really lame new one that never quite did much of anything. Hell, he started out as an Alan Moore-looking circus mentalist possessed by a living Coluan named Brainiac and it kind of all went down hill through the 90s. This modern incarnation has always been pretty lame.

And then, like they've done so many times before, Paul Dini and Bruce Timm created a version of Brainiac closer to his original self, but even more different by tying him into Krypton in Superman: The Animated Series.

2007-12-06-BrainiacSTAS.jpg

And this is where Corey Burton comes in.

Burton provided the most phenomenal cold and cruel emotionless voice for this new Brainiac.

For me, the voice has completely become the character!

This new version of Brainiac was fantastic! Super-mega-balls fantastic!

They thankfully brought him back in Justice League Unlimited and paired in with Clancy Brown's most excellent Lex Luthor in one of the best Brainiac-Luthor team-ups ever!

Anyway, where was I going with this?

Oh. Yeah.

So for Legion of Super-Heroes they've changed the character yet again. He's not tied to Krypton anymore. He's back to being the shinker of the city Kandor, and he's Brainiac 1.0, essentially an earlier model of the Legion's boy-robot Brainiac 5.

It works with the cartoon's continuity and definitely is easier to explain Brainiac 5's existence than the original real Brainiac 5's history.

More on Brainiac here on Wikipedia. Brainiac 5 here.

Yes. Crisis on Infinite Earths and Zero Hour and Infinite Crisis made everything so much clearer. *gag*

The Greatest Superhero of All Time. Period.

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So I was thinking about comic today and realized that there is in fact a definitive greatest superhero ever and he mostly goes completely forgotten.

Yes.

I'm talking about Danny the Street.

2007-11-21-danny-the-street.jpg

Danny the Street is a creation of writer Grant Morrison during his run on DC's Doom Patrol in the early 90s.

Every now and then, when I'm wasting time thinking about comics, my absurd mind inevitably wanders to Danny the Street due to the shere brilliance of his creation as a comic book "character".

You see... Danny is a sentient stretch of neighborhood block that also happens to be a transvestite!

When it comes to completely new out-of-the-box ideas you don't have to go much farther than Grant Morrison and yes, I think Danny the Street is his crowning achievement and will always remain so.

One thing I saw when looking for a photo of Danny was a reference that Brendan Macarthy was going to do a Danny the Street story in DC's now cancelled Solo series in which Danny was going to become a Green Lantern and take the name Street Lantern!

F'n ay!

I'd read that!

True.

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2007-11-12-dc.jpg

I have no idea what this piece of art is he's making fun of but man oh man, Kevin of BeaucoupKevinDotCom nailed these DC "marketing" materials.

The Dark Knight fighting Rorschach!?!?

Um.

That's 13-year-old fan boy fan-fic.

Then again, that's kinda-sorta what DC feels like these days.

And while some of it is fun in that "nostalgic remember you are a 13-year-old again way", most of it feels like there's absolutely nothing exciting or fresh to do with superheroes anymore.

And believe me... while I'm a fan of the Multiverse, I'm also a fan of restricted crossing over of the parallel Earths.

DC is pretty much abusing it and saying "Oh! You wanted the Multiverse back! We are gonna shove it down your throat now with a confusing mess of continuity!"

What sucks too is that it isn't even old pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths continuity... it is a continuity of characters that is a mish-mash of freshly-created new past continuity if that makes any sense to you. (See the Legion of Super-Heroes currently appearing in Action Comics.

UPDATE: Actually, thinking back, it would not be possible for the Legion of New Earth to actually be the Pre-Crisis Legion. There's no proper New Earth Supergirl to replace the Pre-Crisis Supergirl in the Legion. I suppose the New Earth Legion is a mish-mash of the original Earth-1 Legion minus bits and pieces of that past continuity up to the Crisis.

I have no idea if they've shown any of the Post-52 new Earth-1 but perhaps that is closer to the old Legion.

There there's the issue of which Earth the Legion that current appears in print is from since that can't possibly be New Earth or Earth 1. Perhaps it is the Post-52 Earth 2 which would be make some sense.

Then again, the mere fact that I can type this shit and actually make sense of it is a disgusting thing in and of itself and is the #1 reason why people shouldn't read DC (or Marvel for that matter) superhero comics anyway.

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This page is an archive of recent entries in the comics category.

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