Making Transformers a tad bit enjoyable.


Well it is still an awful film but last night it was at least a bit funnier.


Kelmeister suggested I download the recent Rifftrax mp3 for Transformers. She and the husband came over and we synched up the movie and the mp3 and sure enough, it made the film a bit tolerable.


Now many of you may not have heard of Rifftrax yet.

They are mp3 commentary audio files for current films done by Mike Nelson and the others from Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame.

I know a lot of you disagree but I have yet to see how I can agree with anyone that this is either a 1) cool film or that it is 2) even a C-grade film.

Transformers is truly a sorry excuse for a film that has made that kind of money. It is a jumbled mess of often demeaning stereotypical Bay chaos.

Watching the new film with this commentary rekindled some of the same feelings I had while watching this at the Star Wars Holiday special and the prequel films.

In fact, one of my favorite moments in the TF track was actually during one of the utterly drawn out pointless scenes without any robots in it and Mike Nelson says something to the effect of "Oh my god I can't believe I'm saying this but I would so go for a pod race now!".

Well... and also the brilliant comment about Archibald Witwicky and Moe Greene!

Get your Rifftrax today!


I'll get it when Transformers ends up in a $5 dump bin at Wal-Mart.

I try to stay clear of the fansites and everything, so maybe this is just conventional wisdom, but there were like three obvious things I didn't "get" about this movie:

1) The whole hacker/decoding storyline. Did this lead anywhere? Did it tie into the resolution of the film somehow? Because they devoted like 70 minutes to it, but it didn't seem to amount to anything. It seemed like a way to fill time with low priced humans as opposed to expensive CG models. Come to think of it, nothing to do with the humans (other than Sam) really seemed to matter to the story at all. It clearly detracted from it. You would at least think they would come up with some cheezy Independence Day type storyline whereby all of these plotlines somehow led to the humans figuring out how to defeat the Decepticons...yet they didn't. They didn't even bother!

2) Ummm...was every African American like an unfunny stereotype or was it just me? Does every black guy live with his fat "mama"? I thought that was a relic of the 1970s sitcom. I am not a real PC guy but this movie made me squirm.

3) Did anyone else feel like the one Transformer they did devote screen time to was "Frenzy", the most ill-conceived and poorly-designed of them all? Again, it seemed like they gave him 45 mintues of screen time just because he was Muppet.

Wow, did you really hate the new Transformers movie? I mean, I've seen you rip on it here a bunch of times but I always figured you were kidding.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's no masterpiece but I seriously would argue that it's about as good as they could make a live action version of the cartoon series. The only things they could have done better was they could have cut the humans screen time down drastically and made Megatron and Starscream more like they were in the cartoon (Megatron is not a retarded barbarian;he uses his brains as often as he uses his brawn and he doesn't just foolishly run around and tear shit up).

Yeah. I really can'g make it through the film.

For me it is guilty of the worst crime: I find it incredibly boring.

Say What??!?!!!?
What about Bumblebee vs Barricade or the whole huge battle at the end? I mean, I hear you on the human stuff (that's why I bless the lord there's a such thing as fast forward) but you didn't like that stuff either?
Do you think you'll see the sequel or will you just skip it and get some of the toys?

Oh. You mean the battle at the end where Prime delivers his money shot line "One shall stand, one shall fall" while he and Megatron aren't even in the shot????

It was just too much of a zooming blurry mess for me.

Just not my kind of thing. I've never seen a Bay film that I could really enjoy. The Island was almost bearable but I loved the leads in that.

Yeah, that fight scene with Megatron was a joke. That they can even call it a fight is a joke. It's basically five or six minutes of Prime getting his butt kicked from one side of he city to the other.
Talk about making Prime look like a sissy boy.

But I thought the battle leading up to it was really awesome (Bumblebee, Ironhide, and Jazz versus the remaining 'Cons). But...yeah. I definitely hear you on the fast-paced blurry stuff. You do have to rewind the scenes a couple of times to see what's going on.
And The Rock is pretty good for a mindless action piece. Nicholas Cage as Stanley Godspeed = best casting ever.

I hate that I know this, but it's Goodspeed. They have that whole conversation about how it derivates from Godspeed. Also, best casting ever was Orson Welles as a planet eating planet.

And seriously, the combat was like a poorly choreographed John Woo film. Michael Bay can blow stuff up in the most soulless way possible.

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This page contains a single entry by Nala published on December 23, 2007 11:02 AM.

He lives again!!! was the previous entry in this blog.

I'm off to see the Wizard. is the next entry in this blog.

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