Transformers "I hope it doesn't suck" Cyberton!

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Well Hasbro sent out a press release about the upcoming "Cybertron" line today since the big American International Toy Fair trade show is this weekend.

And Toy Fair is the place where plastic crack� makers show their wares to prospective plastic crack� dealers and make plastic crack� addicts all moist in the panties with anticipation for the new year.

So Hasbro as usual has "co-developed" the new Transformers line with Takara in Japan and will be bringing over the Galaxy Force series rebranded as Transformers: Cybertron in both toy and animated show form.

Now they say they co-develop the brand but I really think that Takara does far more design than Hasbro does and also obviously contributed most if not all of the backstory that develops into the animated show. (I think this is also the case with the soon to be wrapped up Energon line and animation. The super shitty Armada though from 2002 is probably fully Hasbro's baby.)

Takara Galaxy Force Nitro ConvoyOf course I could be wrong here but this line, especially certain characters like Master Megatron and Nitro Convoy just have too much "Japanese-anime-influence" to have been designed in the US.

And the television show completely smells of standard Japanese kid-anime fare in terms of writing and overall plot and story.

Takara Galaxy Force StarscreamNow based off today's press release,Hasbro for some reason known only to gods and demons perhaps, is upscaling the phenomenally awesome Don Figueroa-design inspired Takara Galaxy Force Starscream, adding a crown, changing the colors, and adding more gimmicks that the kids'll just eat up (*snigger*).

The toy will retail for a shelf-warming $50 and from what I've been reading on the the bitch boards collectors just don't seem to really want this. And unfortunately, collectors are the ones that buy these really expensive pieces of shit anyway.

All I can say is that I'm extremly happy that I've got my Takara version somewhere on a UPS truck/plane as I type making its way from a store in Hawaii that I'll never buy from again. But that purchase is another story for another entry.

Takara Galaxy Force DreadrockNow Galaxy Force Dreadrock looks to be one of the finest Transformers ever made. I think he's beautiful in all his modes and quite frankly I should break down and get an actual Takara one instead of waiting for the Hasbro one.

Hasbro of course is renaming this figure with the totally overused Jetfire moniker. Hopefully they won't make any significant changes to the mold or color palette. No idea why they fuck up Takara's perfectly good color schemes but Hasbro so often does it.

Galaxy Force Vector PrimeAnother figure I just had to order from Japan, and coincidentally on the same UPS plane/jet that my Starscream on is Vector Prime.

Vector Prime's alt mode is an homage based more or less on the Axalon, the ship commanded by Optimus Primal in the opening moments of Beast Wars.

And Vector Prime is one kick ass figure from the looks of it. Hell, I don't even have one yet and I've been salivating for him. There's just something about the sword and worn ancient look that I'm just loving to the balls max with this one. Here's hoping Hasbro doesn't deviate too much either.

In a twist that makes no sense to fans, the press release spoiled the entire plot of the reworked cartoon as well. So " they have the power to unlock Cybertron itself, and make their home planet into the one Transformer robot powerful enough to shut down the black hole that threatens the entire universe!" basically means we'll be getting a supreme sized Primus figure finally and hopefully they'll do something other than retool the ok, but mediocre, Unicron figure from Armada.

The American dubs of the Transformer cartoons are guaranteed to suck such incredible balls that they really aren't worth mentioning.

It is bad enough that Hasbro continually reuses names over and over and over in the toy lines but it hurts even more to have these "characters" constantly reused in the animation and hearkening back to previous series when in fact they are often not the same character in the Japanese version.

The Japanese Ch� robot seimeitai Transformer: Micron densetsu was dubbed into the awful pile of shit known as Transformers: Armada and Transformer: Super Link was dubbed into the completely incoherent mess known as Transformers: Enegon.

Now I would like to think Hasbro has learned something from these really poorly dubbed cartoons but somehow I just don't think so.

They don't seem to realize at all that story and coherency of plot are the key factors for everything regardless of the age of the watcher.

They don't realize... or they just don't care.

I'd imagine more of the latter than the former.

Oh well... at least there's new crack to be had soon and some of it may just be worth buying!

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This page contains a single entry by Nala published on February 18, 2005 8:12 PM.

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