So. I was investiging Wiki software for possible implementation here at work and stumbled across the Uncyclopedia site which I had totally forgot existed.
The entry for Transformers is probably the most accurate description I've ever read.
Created by Oscar Wilde in 1902, transformers are a simple though complicated electrical device designed to transfer energon from one circuit to another paramagnetically.Not only is it better than anything I've previously read, it also manages to link Tranformers with Oscar Wilde and Hitler!!!...The Autobots contain hidden voice modules programmed by Hitler to channel messages to his secret ninja polar bear force on the North Pole. Such directives included persuading them to carry hockey sticks and refrain from showering. The polar bears eventually became Cancanadians, dictators of Mars, whose national sport is hockey, a game played by shooting raccoons out of cannons. Autobots were discontinued in 1988 due to Winston Churchill's winning field goal of Superbowl XIIV.
Unfortuately, Hasbro(ther) made a new version, called transformers armada. It was sooo terrible everyone hated it. Thus Hitler's plans were ruined
Decepticons are similar to Autobots in likeness and appearance, except they turn into guns and wear purple fannypacks. These firearms became popular toys in the 80s, commonly brandished by children to provoke police officers into shooting them. Decepticons also have a tendency to listen to harder forms of gabber techno whilst dancing like Arabic kettles.
The Megatron and Prime entries are also better than I expected for parody.
And you know something?
I'd buy a full size print of Optimus Prime's Last Supper too.
I'd proudly display this in the Attic of The Damned™.
Hasbro(ther) isn't too far off from the truth. my step dad's second wife had an old plastic ruler stamped Hasbro.