To Whom It May Concern:

I am sick of this rain. Please make it stop.

And while your at it, please let whatever diminutive and industrious folk myth creatures that happen to be free come to the House of Love and finish packing and cleaning. That "For Sale" sign just isn't hitting the front yard fast enough. (Note: I'm not partial to the ethnicity of said folk myth creatures. Pixies. Gnomes. Judoon. Whatever will do.)