Review - 3" Titanium Series

Posted on July 1, 2006 7:38 PM | Permalink

While this is a bit premature with 3 more figures still to be acquired, I've got to put my two cents in on the recently released Titanium Series figures that I do have.

This includes War Within Optimus Prime, Unicron, Beast Megatron, Sidewipe, Jazz, and Starscream.


They really kinda suck balls.

Now frequent readers of this here blog, as well as my other blog where this spun out of, will know that I'm not a hater when it comes to the basic and lower end figures for Transformers.

I'm usually quite impressed with the engineering, design, and overall concepts for the $3-$10 figures.

Hell, I even may have influenced frequent visitor Mr. Frowny McBeard that Cybertron Backstop was actually kind of a cool figure for a basic. And hell, even my first review of Backstop was bad but I grew to love him and praise him within a few days!

I'm an insane fan of the various flavors of Spychangers and my love of Takara's PVCs is well documented.

So when the Titanium figures were first announced I figured these would be right up there with the other small figures and non-transforming goodness that has graced The Attic of Loveā„¢ for years.

Well. Alas. I cannot say many positive things about these guys.

Titanium Series - Starscream  Titanium Series -   Titanium Series -   Titanium Series - Beast Megatron  Titanium Series - War Within Optimus Prime  Titanium Series - Lame Plot Device Unicron

I really figured that the Titanium line, by virtue of the name, would have been full die-cast metal miniatures of Transformers in robot mode. But they really aren't.

There's essentially a die-cast core to them but arms, legs, head, weapons, etc. are plastic. Which parts are die-cast varies between figures.

This is just the beginning of my disappointment.

Bot Mode

Due to the essential "statuette" nature of these guys, all of them are in their robot modes. Perhaps Hasbro will release a few recognizable alternate modes for say a G1 Omega Supreme or maybe Beast Machines Optimus Primal but the bot would need to have a pretty damn neat alt mode to make it worth it.

Color Palette

The color choices are all pretty decent, essentially reflecting the version of a character they represent. The various differences between the way the paint appears on the plastic parts or the die-cast parts distracts from the figures for me. I'm a proponent of either full glossy or full matte finishes and I don't think the two should ever be mixed in the same figure.


This is where the completely fall apart for me.

Articulation, as expected, is minimal. And that's ok. But the poses?

The poses are mediocre to just plain awful!!!

Beast Megatron - The best of the bunch in terms of pose (and pretty much everything else)! He pretty much looks like a tiny version of his original Beast Wars figure.

Jazz - Jazz is based on the Binaltech Meister/Alternator Jazz mold. He's up there with Megs in terms of decentness but almost all detail disappears on his black parts.

Sideswipe - Again. Not a bad figure. He's also in his Binaltech/Alternator form. This is where the poses start to break down. Sideswipe and man of the others show definite signs of "I have horrible 'rhoids and just shit diarhea in my pants and it is running down my leg" syndrome. Just awkward as can be.

Unicron - He's basically reaching out and crushing Cybertron. Unfortunately he looks like he's dribbling a basketball. And least he's sorta bending down, which gives him a slight illusion of mass if you believe it is a planet he's holding and not a basketball.

Starscream - Blasting off on molded "jet bursts" makes his overall pose drastically different from the others. But it also distracts from him. And to top it off he's holding a gun! I mean, his arms have two huge null ray guns on them and he's holding a gun. Silly. Silly. Silly.

Titanium Series - War Within Optimus PrimeWar Within Optimus Prime - The one I wanted to love most is the one I hate the most. Prime looks like he's got major rectal problems and is either bending over to take a massive shit or he's waiting to get buggered up the ass by Shockwave's "gun". It is disturbing to me in a big way and I can't believe this pose made it through concept to final production.

He also seems to love a lot of detail in the paint application, with this specific figure at least appearing to have way too much paint applied.

Prime's really the worst of the bunch so far. Hell. If I could I'd even develop and produce a "Con Exclusive Toilet" to use with this figure. I should see if I can find a little toilet that'll work and post it to Ebay as a "rare and limited" collectible.


I'm disappointed. That's being mild.

But at the same time I totally understand that these are 3" little figures.

I'm not letting my general first impressions affect what I think the 6" ones that will transform will be like. That version of War Within Prime is still making my panties moist and all I've seen is basically a photoshop'd final spec of it.

And yes. You don't have to tell me that even though I'm not a fan of the 3" ones I'll end up owning them all.

Of course I will.

Because while some things change in this universe of ours, and Transformers are produced that are awesome and shitty... I will always be the lame when it comes to them.

That being said, Hasbro can still make me totally erase this lame review from history.

Make a 6" G1 Shockwave figure!!!

If a 6" G1 Shockwave figure is released I'll bend over like that War Within Prime and take one for the team!!!

Categories: reviewtitanium series


I'm not big on non-transforming transformers, but I think the HOC PVCs look good. These, on the other hand, are friggin' crappy. And that's not a pun based on their, um, condition.

They are mediocre at best.

Leave a comment

Blog Archives
<< Previous Entry | Next Entry >>

My Crack