I'm buying the Cousinling lead D&D figurines this year!

Waitaminute!

Where are all of the other apologies to China from toy companies like Mattel did?

The lead is not a flaw but a feature. C'mon!

I find it kind of funny though that a good chunk of items listed here all end up at Dollar General, the home of quality merchandise!

My Little Pony (SDCC 2007 Exclusive)

So there's she is? If it is a she.

Are My Little Ponies gender-specific? I've never actually had one in my possession.

All I know is that if you lick it, the walls will start melting like candle wax and you'll see stars.

More eBay bad craziness.

And speaking of eBay, I have no idea what is being smoked out of the pipes by the people bidding on this Botcon 2005 FlameUp figure.

With 2 hours to go it is at $379.85!

I'm sorry but I didn't even pay that for Botcon Antagony, and she's a helluva lot cooler, larger, and rarer, than one of 3 Energon Arcee repaints from that year.

Hell... FlameUp isn't even the rarer Attendee Flame War!

Bad craziness there.

Maybe I'll get $3000 for 98% of the Attic of Love

So. Remember that silly $1,000,000 G1 toy ebay auction?

I can't tell based on the history if it was legitimately purchased or not. That person listed has to have been a joke. I mean, the last item they purchased was tanning lotion.

It just can't have been real bid but they aren't listed on the declined page.

Bad craziness.

Yawn.

Ever since this goddamn movie started I've been inundated with viral emails asking me to go to websites of unlicensed TF products or to just blog about shit to drive traffic to these websites.

What's amazingly funny is how most of these are essentially crafted vermin emails that offer me absolutely nothing but ask me to post about their crap and giving links that will be picked up by Google and Yahoo and such.

I've probably had about 15 emails so far this week.

While one marketing firm representing Radio Shack was probably the top of the list, the rest have all been unlicensed poorly drawn crappy tshirts sites trying to make a buck off of advertising or their rather low-quality products.

What's amazing is not a single email offered me any form of compensation.

Not a single dime or freebie.

At least when the marketing firm hawking the anniversary version of the original movie came a calling they gave me a free copy of the DVD to link to their ad.

This is 'Merica folks! Nothing is free. Everything has a price.

A great "What the fuck" auction

As I post , this auction has 45 minutes to go.

All of the Botcon exclusive toys at $1000????

I'm sorry. It is that kind of bad craziness that can't be justified.

And believe me, I've dropped a shitload of cash on toys before.

Let's buy this and send it to Peter Cullen's house.

Um.

No.

I do have a loading dock now though.

This makes most fuzors look good!

"Cool T-Rex Transformer Guy"

Sorry niknatti. This most certainly would not be a "great addition to any transformers collection".

In fact, I think it may be one of the most disturbingly ugly things I've ever seen.

Animorphs... the true bottom rung of Tranformers.

I can't imagine having this much stuff just sitting around.

So. You think this guy got a shitload of $20 clearance Cybertron Primii and now is trying to get over full price for them?

Don't know how long the link will work since it is timed.

Bad craziness.

My god I am stupid.

I really fucking thought that I was getting the Unicron.com energon cubes that I've seen in Evebird's office.

But noooooooo!!!

Stupid Nala has to just go and order something without looking closer.

These are overpriced frigg'n undrilled translucent dice!!!!

That's it!!!!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Nala <---- Lame.

Does anybody need a Taxara?

Taxara needs to belong in every plastic crack collection.

Um... no.

Ok. Now normally, Ministry of Toys prices are pretty fair for the Lucky Draw and other rare Takara items that they put on Ebay.

Even at the cons they are very appropriately priced for the rare merchandise they usually have.

They are the first vendor I've ever seen with the fairly rare Lucky Draw Master Sword

But $99 for a Transformers Universe Razorclaw!?!?!?

Hell... I'll sell ya mine for $50! Save $49!!!

What the fuck!??!?!?!?!

Today's "What the fuck?!?!?!?!" auction.

$110?

Bwhahahahahahahahhaahah!

It... is... a... common... toy.

I so want to make an "Ebay Powersellers Bullshit" site.

WTF?!?!?! Auction Of The Day

Starscream Destron E-hobby isn't exactly what it claims to be.

This version of the destron starscreams comes in the regular white version.

Light-piping. Just who is this gimmick for anyway?

I noticed that the Classics 2-Pack Prime and Megs suffer from a gimmick that I just don't understand: the distracting intentional design flaw known as light-piping.

You know... when they put the colored translucent plastic in the head to supposedly let light through and glow.

Yes. I think of it as an intentional design flaw. It is a gimmick that I just can't figure out.

By putting the translucent plastic in, it usually means having the back of the head totally different from the rest of the design.

For me it is distracting and quite a negative.

And honestly, unless you put the figure directly in front of a light source it doesn't really do anything.

Do kids, the real audience for these toys, care about such things?

If I was a kid and not a loser adult with toys I wouldn't give a rat's ass about the gimmick at all.

Light-piping completely screwed the Heroes of Cybertron line. The original Takara PVCs didn't have it and on the whole, I think the quality control was a lot better.

I don't know.

Maybe it is just me.

What do you think?

Does light-piping sucks the balls nasty or not?

Your "What the fuck?!?!" auction of the day!

Evebird passed along this insanity.

An Alternator Swerve sold for $202.50 a few days back.

That's insane.

I should throw mine up if I could get that much from it. It could pay for a good chunk of Botcon.

Someone wasted their time for this?

So way back on July 17, someone, apparently in the Netherlands, took the time to leave the following comment that got filtered into the junk folder:

I would like to stick all these useless pieces of crappy plastic and metal up your ass, one by one, slowly. LOL How old are you? Aren't you ashamed of this useless hobby?

Regardless of how utterly useless my toy collection is, which I totally agree with you on, the mere fact you felt it necessary to fill out the comment form to declare your intentions to put toys in my ass indicates you have some bizarre gay anal fascination with toys and violence. Yes?

Bwahahahahahha! Insanity. I gar-un-tee!

Evebird, defender of the faith, and overall Number 1 fan of Better-Than-Mediocre Chinese food, passed along today what has to be the definite Auction of the Day.

AFA Transformers LEOBREAKER Nemisis Super Claw.

This toy is less than a year old and the guy spent at least $50 to have it AFA graded and according to Evebird, $25 to have it listed as a featured auction. So that's $75 in the hole for a $20 retail figure.

I love how the seller decided to make the feedback comments "private" too. Insane bad craziness.

And the typos in the auction description rock too.

"Garunteed long term high resale investment."

Then again, this one is at $46.61.

Insane bad craziness for a figure that's pretty much an unarticulated brick.

And FYI... toys are not "investments". If you believe that then you really have problems that you need help on.

Today's what the fuck auction(s)...

Ok. So I was set to pay around $150 or so since this prototype was one-of-a-kind and I jokingly have almost every single version of the G2 Gobots and/or Spychangers made by Takara or Hasbro.

I figured, since this prototype was a never produced Jeep it'd be cool to have something unique in the attic.

However, a $820.51 rarity?

Um. No.

The other auction with an unproduced Ferrari prototype spychanger went for $660.51.

Now I know this collecting addiction is horrible.

The voices tell me that every day.

But man oh man. There's a lot of house repairs that could be done for that kind of scratch.

I'm just saying.

In which something good becomes something drama-filled.

Any excitement I had with finding a Mensor today was crushed as Giga tried to return the 2 6" Titaniums he originally bought me.

Target has fuck'd up the SKUs so bad on this shit. Remember they started selling the 3" ones for $14.99 and the 6" ones for $4.99 by accident?

Well, Giga paid $14.99 for them and I told him to return them since I bought a set already. Well. Target basically says that the items on his receipt are not the 2 6" Titaniums when they clearly are!

It was a fucking joke!

We collectively spent thousands of dollars a year at Target.

In fact, I'd hazard to say that while arguing in the return line over this, he and I both had on jeans, tshirts, underwear, and socks bought at Target.

I am in and out of Target weekly spending close to $20 per week usually.

For them to basically accuse him of lying is uncalled for and total bullshit.

They fucked up their pricing SKUs. I just didn't want this extra set of figures and they should honor their receipt!

I've tried to generate a lot of good toy karma in my time, buying crack for those who need it, tracking down extra figures for those with poorer distribution than Cowtown.

I paid G for the figures since they were for me to begin with.

But you know something. I really feel guilty about having bought that Menasor from Target. In fact, I'll feel really guilty shopping at Target again in the future.

Your "what the fuck auction" for the day.

Cybertron Unicron for only $25.90

Um. It is a new figure that I've seen at least 10 of now. It is barely worth the retail $10 and certainly not $18.95 plus shipping!

Today's "What The Fuck" auctions...

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

It blows my mind what people put up for auction and the starting bid/buy-it-now prices these people list.

If you are willing to pay $55 for a Star Saber box or $50 for a Star Convoy box then you really do need to seek professional help from a qualified therapist.

Believe me.

If you even think about clicking on the Buy-It-Now buttons for these you have problems.

Even more so since you'll also be paying $10 to have an empty box shipped to your ass!

Oh. And if you think that the $34.99 for this Star Convoy reissue is good you are right. It is fantastic!

The $35.00 shipping charge? Oh the humanity of these people! It fucking blows my mind!

Today's special "What the fuck!?!?!" auction!

If you have $44,000 to plop down on an Ebay toy auction you should seriously consider therapy.

Stop the insanity!

I'll be damn glad when the Cybertron line is done.

My damn Cybertron/Galaxy Force collection now encroaches upon the clearly staked out and demarcated territory of The World's Most Beloved Goldfish.

I don't even think opening up others from their pacaging would help.

I am litterally out of space for more crack.

Hello my name is "What the f**k?!?!?!

What kind of crack are you smoking???

What the fuck?!?!

For only $450 I can own the Sword of Brave Maximus.

Or... I can buy that 20" Dell LCD I want.

Oh... decisions... decisions...

*sigh*

It is auctions like this that make me truly sad to be a toy collector.

In-fucking-sane!

At most, the toy is worth the $50US retail.

That's it.

Let me lure you into looking and then feed you illusions.

Ebay has become worthless.

The "auction" aspect has fallen the wayside for the "store" and "buy it now" items and any excitement has been removed for me. There are no deals to be made anymore and it has become nothing more than a site to whore your wares like any other store.

Hell. Some of the software packages that people use to host their items even manipulate the search results. It is yet another once good thing that is now festering in a quagmire of uselessness.

While there have always been the sellers that have been smoking crack, I've been seeing more and more play essentially manipulate and deceptive games to get you to accidentally buy something.

Case in point: this for sale Galaxy Force EX-02 GF Convoy / Sonic Convoy / Ramble TRU Giftset.

This set was sold in limited quantities in Japanese TRUs only. Each figure is repainted or differs from the general retail component. And Coby's Ramble only comes with the set.

That's fine and all. Nothing wrong there. It is a TRU exclusive.

Now comes the seller deception part.

It really is only found on ebay with $99 or so Buy It Now pricing and about $35 shipping and handling. Most are coming from Japan or Asia so while pricey, that's expected.

Now the auction that really blows my mind is the fact that it entices you with a $24.99 price but charges you $98.80.

$98.80!

So they are basically just getting you to look at the auction from search results of price only to fuck you over with an illusion.

Great. Love it.

If you read my main blog you know how much I love data manipulation and illusions.

These are the kinds of sellers that need red hot pokers shoved up their assholes and then the bleeding wounds filled with cayenne pepper.

Fuckers!

In which plastic crack addicts continue to embarrass me.

Ok. I need to be a hater for a moment.

And I'm gonna hate-on some ebaying insanity.

Case in point: An auction for the forthcoming Optimus Prime alternator, a $19.99 retail toy, that is currently at $103.50 with 2 days to go.

Why the fuck are you people doing this???

This is a mass market toy that will be everywhere! There is no way that this will likely ever be rare or anything.

It is the first of the mold and will no doubt be repainted in the future.

Now I could be totally wrong here but you gotta give Hasbro's distribution system the benefit of the doubt here. They've totally retooled the Alternator distribution and while this may only be 1 per case, that doesn't mean that it won't end up clogging shelves like so many other figures.

Yeah. The original release of Alternator Tracks seemed to be way off and there was an inordinate fan demand the the figure. For the life of me I can't figure out why repaint called "Swerve" seems to all of a sudden be in demand.

Will I buy this Alternator Optimus Prime?

Yes.

Will he ever be in bot mode?

Never.

Personally I think this bot mode is the ugliest Alternators ever created. The way those fenders form the upper arms is so distracting and ugly that I never want to see them.

And that's good because while I don't want the bot I'll be more than happy to add the truck to my collection since so many of the "repaints" are just in alt mode on my selves anyway. It'll give variety to all the sedans.

Based on what Hasbro said at Botcon 2005, this mold ended up being tooled as an Optimus Prime because that's the only way Takara would allow it. There are practically no pick-up trucks in Japan and a truck like this would not sell. However, slapping the Convoy name on it in some shape, way, or form is a guarantee.

So Takara was going to release this as Ginrai and then a black version called Black Convoy. That would meet Takara's demands and Hasbro could get it out.

Of course, Takara merging with Tomy killed so much of Takara's initial plans and now we are left with a really half-ass design that is so not a Prime or Convoy that we'll have to make do.

Maybe there's an Ironhide repaint in the future. Hell. Trailbreaker even!

But it is worth $19.99.

That's it.

These were shelf cloggers for so long too.

I'm sorry.

If you would pay $79 for an Alternator Swerve you should be pooped on.

This is why I call it plastic crack.

Evebird sent me a link to this auction.

Um. I'm sorry. I know there are some "holy grail" Transformers that I want to some day own that run in the $1000 range but they are few and far between.

$6000 for a protoype of G1 Swoop is just too insane.

I don't understand people who get off on the prototype thing. It is just plastic kids.

So many crack whores...

Hello. I'm smoking crack.

Me too!!!

Error Edition?

This moment's "What The Fuck Are You Smoking" Ebay auction is for a lot of Rare Transformers 2005 BotCon Dirge Error edition direct from Hong Kong.

I don't seem to recall the special rare "Error Edition" at the convention last month.

What The Fuck? You don't say!

This moment's "What The Fuck Are You Smoking" Ebay auction is for a lot of 6 E-Hobby releases with a starting bid on only $850.

You too much be smoking large amounts of crack to even think about bidding on this.

Collectors on LSD should also be encouraged to refrain from using Ebay for the duration of your trip.

I fucking hate Ebay and I fucking hate Ebay sniping software.

So I spent all this time keeping an eye on that auction for the Car Robots God Fire Convoy giftset that I so want.

I even had an opportunity to up my bid when while we were out running around today.

But does it matter if you want something and actually look in on the auction? No. Those days are over.

There's no point in maintaining such care in your attitude about using Ebay when cuntbags come in at the last minute using automated sniping software to snag the auction.

And yes, from the looks of it, those last 2 bids coming in at the last minute and seconds were purely automated. Fuck. Even one account is called snipebot.

So basically I have to become a fucking vermin cuntbag myself and start using this kind of software if I want to win anything remotely unique.

I have to become what I despise to win.

Fucking dirtbag cuntbag vermin.

I so hate you. I so hate you all.